My CareBear is coming home!!!!

Jay and I have been Skyping about 3 times a week since I got back to SC,  I love being able to see him as well as hear him. Things have changed so much as far as communication goes since the early days of our marriage and Jay being deployed or on a temporary duty (TDY) away from home, in the beginning we had no computers or cell phones, we had to schedule moral calls once a week or so and could only talk for 15 minutes maximum. Yes! I am old :-) Now it's so different, so much easier for separated families to keep in touch, no matter where in the world they go. Today I skyped with Jay all the way to Afghanistan, apart from the 9 hour time difference he could have been sitting here with me in this room, I love it! I get to skype with Nathan our oldest son and his wife Becky in Hawaii at least once a week, it brings them so much closer to 'home'.

So, to my much awaited news! Finally, Jay is coming home! YES!!!
Yesterday he emailed me that he is going to be on a flight back to the US on Tuesday! He said he was hoping that because of the time difference he may still get to SC on the same day, I was ecstatic, that is the day before our 25th anniversary, I was just over the moon that we could be together for our special day. Then this morning while skyping, he said that there are no flights out of Maryland to SC after 8pm on Tuesday, he doesn't get in until 8pm, so he had decided that he wasn't going to sit in MD overnight and was going to drive to SC from there! 10 hours driving through the night after travelling all day! I told him I didn't really like that plan, even though it meant I would get to see him early Wednesday morning. I know he just wants to get home, but his travelling home actually starts tomorrow (Sunday) that is when he actually leaves Kandahar, so it is actually a lot more than one day and I know he won't get much sleep. As it turned out, it wasn't Jay's decision, his commander here in SC vetoed the driving idea, they told him they wouldn't order him not to drive, but they didn't like it, Jay will still be here for most of our Anniversary, but he doesn't land here until just after noon. I am so excited to have him home I can hardly sit still, I have shopped for all his favorite foods, snacks etc, I am planning on cooking/freezing a couple of his favorite meals, making his ice tea, home made lemonade, I just want everything that he has missed for the last 5 months to be here waiting for him. There are lots of things we have both missed, but I think the biggest thing for me is just him being present, sharing our every day routines, looking across the room and just seeing him sitting there, going to sleep and waking up next to him, that bed sure is big without him in it:) I also miss things like him driving us everywhere (he loves to drive) him changing out the heavy water cooler bottles etc, those little things that he does for me. He is my best friend and I am really looking forward to having him back!

I have already started talking to a few RV dealerships to let them know what we are looking for, we want (or would like) to find an RV between 36 and 40 ft long, space is important as this will be our permanent home, I want at least 2 slides, a separate table/chair dining area, not a Boothe type one, one couch and at least one recliner, a walk around bedroom area, separate toilet from the shower room, preferably an oven instead of convection microwave, no carpet in the kitchen dining area.........and the 'wishlist' goes on! No telling if we will be able to find what we want, but we will hopefully get most of it, the biggest thing is that we want a diesel pusher, not gas. From what I have seen so far in the dealers ads, we are looking to spend no more that $60,000 and don't want anything older than a 2000 model year, Jay is already excited about going out and getting inside a couple of the ones we have researched, I have done so much research on RVs and the full time lifestyle that I could probably fill a book! But it is all going to be worth it when we find our dream home on wheels!

It has been a good week and next week is going to be even better! We can finally get on our path to living our dream, I will keep this Blog updated with all our RV searching and hopefully can help anyone else out there that is dreaming too :-)

I may even post a few pics on here after Jay gets home and shows me how lol.
be back soon.........
huggs kim x

Moving forward

One of my best friends back home in the UK sent me this poem today. Thank you Debbie, love you sweety :-)

Don’t Tell Me


Please don’t tell me you know how I feel,

Unless you have lost your child too.
Please don’t tell me my broken heart will heal,

Because that is just not true.
Please don’t tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me.
Don’t tell me someday I’ll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see.

Dont tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot.

Dont tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can’t stop.
Don’t tell me to be thankful for the time I had,

Because I wanted more.
Don’t tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I’ll never be as I was before.

What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child.
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while.

And please don’t hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday.
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me,

You may like the new person I become someday.


I know a few of my blog readers were a little worried about me after my last blog, I appreciate the concern and I'm sorry if it was tough to read. I wasn't in a good place when I wrote it, I am doing so much better now! My wonderful family practise nurse suggested I might benefit from talking to a grief counsellor. At first I wasn't really open to that idea, I was just waiting on my usual supportive best friend to get home and knew that he was all the help I needed. Well, after talking to a few friends, family that know me pretty well, I went to see "Miss Pat" She is so sweet, she let me cry, talk, get angry, cry some more! She helped me put the pieces together and I started to see that I had actually started the grieving process over again when I returned home to Charleston, from Canada. It was almost like the process had been 'paused' while I was there, but as soon as I walked into our house in Charleston, alone, the 'play' button was hit and so was I, I have been home for almost a month now and I am doing a whole lot better! Still waiting on Jay to get home, but getting closer to that every day :-) I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that he will get home in time for us to celebrate our 25 years together on May 23rd, but I am also prepared to celebrate a few days later if we have too.

I am looking forward to seriously starting our search for our home on wheels! We are both excited to start turning our "planning a dream" into living our dream!....................................to be continued :-)
huggs Kim x