Moving forward

One of my best friends back home in the UK sent me this poem today. Thank you Debbie, love you sweety :-)

Don’t Tell Me


Please don’t tell me you know how I feel,

Unless you have lost your child too.
Please don’t tell me my broken heart will heal,

Because that is just not true.
Please don’t tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want him here with me.
Don’t tell me someday I’ll hear his voice, see his face,
Beyond today I cannot see.

Dont tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot.

Dont tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can’t stop.
Don’t tell me to be thankful for the time I had,

Because I wanted more.
Don’t tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I’ll never be as I was before.

What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child.
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while.

And please don’t hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday.
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me,

You may like the new person I become someday.


I know a few of my blog readers were a little worried about me after my last blog, I appreciate the concern and I'm sorry if it was tough to read. I wasn't in a good place when I wrote it, I am doing so much better now! My wonderful family practise nurse suggested I might benefit from talking to a grief counsellor. At first I wasn't really open to that idea, I was just waiting on my usual supportive best friend to get home and knew that he was all the help I needed. Well, after talking to a few friends, family that know me pretty well, I went to see "Miss Pat" She is so sweet, she let me cry, talk, get angry, cry some more! She helped me put the pieces together and I started to see that I had actually started the grieving process over again when I returned home to Charleston, from Canada. It was almost like the process had been 'paused' while I was there, but as soon as I walked into our house in Charleston, alone, the 'play' button was hit and so was I, I have been home for almost a month now and I am doing a whole lot better! Still waiting on Jay to get home, but getting closer to that every day :-) I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that he will get home in time for us to celebrate our 25 years together on May 23rd, but I am also prepared to celebrate a few days later if we have too.

I am looking forward to seriously starting our search for our home on wheels! We are both excited to start turning our "planning a dream" into living our dream!....................................to be continued :-)
huggs Kim x